What do Emotions do for us?
Ever wish you could just turn your emotions off? Tired of feeling like your emotions just take over? Why do our emotions even matter -what do they do for us? Understanding the three main functions of emotions helps us appreciate their role in our lives and gives us a starting point to be able to engage our emotional selves in a healthy, well-balanced manner.
1) Emotions Move us to Action
The word "emotion" literally means "in-motion" meaning emotions prepare us for action or urge us to respond in different situations. Our gut reactions are the action urge of specific emotions that are "hard-wired" in our biology. This hard wiring saves us time in our responses, because our brains process our emotions faster than they process words. In other words, our emotions help us to understand and respond to a situation. This is especially important to us when we are in danger and we don't have time to stop and think, we need to just move.
A great question to ask yourself when you're experiencing a big emotion is: what action is this emotion preparing me to do? How does that emotion feel in my body (i.e. what is your gut reaction)?
2) Communicate to Ourselves
Emotions can serve as an alarm system to help alert us when something is happening. Because emotions move us to action, when we stop to be curious about what is going on, we can learn important information about the situation and how to respond. Sometimes our "alarm system" gets out of balance and our emotions don't match the reality of our situation (i.e. I feel silly so I must be silly. Just because you feel silly does not make you so).An important action step is to ask yourself: does this emotion match the facts of my situation? This kind of question can help you decide if you should follow the action urge of your emotion.
3) Communicate to Others
Most of our communication with others is nonverbal, (i.e. body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions). These cues can be aspects or expressions of our emotions and these emotions help us connect with other people like sharing closeness with a good friend or asking for help. Sometimes we can misrepresent our emotions, whether intentionally or not, and use our emotions to influence others. That is why it is so important to be able to communicate our emotions accurately to others to build healthy and safe connections with others.
Can you think of a time when you just could not connect with someone emotionally? What about an experience of closeness that you've shared with someone? Comparing the two experiences can help you consider what safe connection may look and feel like.